CAS Alumna Hannah Wu’s Diaries on Her Transformative Undergraduate Journey, Part 2

Campus during the summer has always been the most beautiful to me. This was something I realized last May, when I returned from my semester abroad in Singapore. While trying my best to avoid the common cliches that plague “life-changing” exchange semesters, I am eager to share my personal reflections with students who are thinking about studying abroad.

I applied to study in Singapore for a number of reasons, some more compelling than others: (1) to study Asia in Asia; (2) to travel around the rest of Southeast Asia; (3) to experience first-hand the personal growth that is prophesied and; (4) to eat delicious food in a tropical refuge geographically and temporally (of exactly twelve hours) away from the brunt of Toronto winter.

Of the many firsts I experienced in Singapore, such as trying stingray and celebrating Chinese New Year as a school holiday, it was also my first time learning about Asia from within rather than at a distance. While the academic environment was familiar—assignments, class structure and expectations—studying the region while simultaneously participating, living and travelling within it made a world of difference a CAS student. For this, I am indebted to both the CAS program for supporting my aspiration to go on exchange, and to my professors at the National University of Singapore (NUS), who welcomed and fostered my enthusiasm. I am also grateful for towards the grandmother who, rather than lose her temper, patiently explained to me that a tissue packet was an indicator that a table was reserved (“choped”). Thus, many of my teachers were the people that I encountered during my day-to-day activities and throughout my travels, whose hospitality helped me adjust to the new environment that I was in.

My time in Singapore was therefore as much about learning as it was about unlearning. Culture shock was something that I had anticipated, but manifested in unexpected ways. The most memorable of these moments were from interactions I had within the exchange community itself. Being in an environment that was international in scope, with people from all walks of life, was overwhelming to say the least. I remember the first two weeks of exchange feeling endless, what I imagine frosh week must feel like, with a revolving door of the same introductions over and over again. This meant that huge groups of people from all over the world, shaped by different upbringings and beliefs, were congregated in spaces not designed for eager exchange students to gather. On top of that, the process of settling in, navigating a new bureaucracy, and trading my familiar “UTORID” for another school-related acronym demanded great adaptability. To meet so many new people at once was both a privilege and reason for discomfort. Fortunately, friendships emerge from the chaos of orientation, travel plans are arranged and from there, the semester flies by!

Exchange unfolded at a disorienting pace, one best described as an experience operating according to its own unique logic. Yet, there were certainly slow moments where homesickness had a chance to catch up. I felt this the most when school common spaces would clear out during holidays, when I learned the hard way that one could catch a cold from the AC, and especially when the time difference emphasized the fact that I was living a life out of rhythm from my friends and family back in Toronto. I believe that the overarching awareness of how fleeting exchange was challenged me to try new things; this ultimately accelerated my personal development as my attempts to to anchor myself amidst the inertia of studying abroad left me with a confidence to adapt to new environments and deal with unanticipated challenges that will surely arise.

Through its trials, tribulations, and trivialities, a semester in Singapore has reshaped the way I understand person-to-person relationships. Exchange also taught me an important lesson on how community is built, surprising me with how rapid its construction can be. While I do miss Singapore itself, a part of me is now apprehensive about going back, because the people who made it my temporary “home” are no longer there—they have returned back to their own lives as I have mine. Yet, to be able to share such a unique experience is enough to span across time and space, leaving me with a comfort that is indescribable and one I treasure deeply.

It took my return to realize how time away has changed me. For one, it tamed an impulse to reach for quick conclusions and to listen first rather than speak. I have learned to embrace contradictions rather than try to simplify them. I also feel a greater urgency towards continuing to explore and seek opportunities abroad. My sense of self, alongside my understanding of community, has been strengthened as much as they have been changed. I believe that these are the most personal and intellectual things that I have taken away from my experience.

As a graduating student, I now find myself cleaning out the suitcases that I brought with me on exchange in order to make space for the next adventure. Having been born and raised in Toronto, it has been the only place that I have called home prior to exchange. Yet, I had never felt so certain of it until I returned. And as much as Toronto is the physical place I consider to be home, I cherish the idea that my community extends beyond it. For that feeling alone, I encourage all students to take the opportunity to study abroad so that their established definitions can be disrupted, challenged, and renewed.

Photo by Yuxing Zhang — Shakespeare in the Garden in Singapore